The last word in the title of this month’s blog can only be found in the Pamtionary (hey, I went to MSU… Making Stuff Up). Adversity has been defined as difficulties and misfortune. The word is synonymous with danger and hardship. All sound about as much fun as rippin’ your kidneys out with an oyster fork… right? But, what happens when we change the way we look at adversity? What if we have a positive attitude about adversity? As Friedrich Nietzsche said so eloquently- “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” Lotsa truth in that statement... if we’re resilient. How does one become more resilient? You may have heard "attitude is altitude". My translation, at least in this context, a positive attitude can literally lift us out of the despair often related to adversity. Lifting ourselves up and out is a what resiliency is all about.

Nick Vujicic (see video in February blog) started an organization called Attitude is Altitude. AIA's organizational beliefs (and I wholeheartedly agree) are that every person can overcome life’s challenges; that every person has value, that everyone is worthy of being treated with respect, dignity and love. You can conquer your fears, push past your problems and achieve your goals. Victor Frankl, neurologist, psychiatrist, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote- “The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances to add a deeper meaning to his life.” Love these two guys. So inspiring!

Our attitudes are a HUGE part of traversing adversity. They’re formed through learning, modeling others, and direct experiences with people and situations. Attitudes influence our decisions, guide our behavior, impact what we selectively discern, and can be measured and changed.

If you need a good talkin’ to, Carolyn Myss (bestselling author and internationally renowned speaker in the fields of human consciousness, spirituality and mysticism, health, energy medicine, and the science of medical intuition) aims to give you one in this TED talk-

There’s much I appreciate on this list blogger and author Marelisa Fabrega posted about creating and caring for positive attitudes- http://daringtolivefully.com/positive-attitude

Here's a tidbit from The School of Life (schooloflife.com), a global organization dedicated to developing emotional intelligence-

Generally speaking, we humans have a tendency to filter through our lens (past experience/story), which turn into opinions/judgement. Our perceptions about our experience/story (true/false, trust/distrust, good/bad, right/wrong, should/shouldn’t, agree/disagree, problem/solution, what’s in it for me-him-her-them?) can lead to resignation & cynicism. Resignation and cynicism typically fall under the heading of negative attitude. We tend to hang on to and remember the bad times (self-preservation to avoid the repeat of such experiences?). When we dwell on these experiences, when they take away from the present moment, hanging on to the past stops serving us and starts hurting us. But, what if we sought the growth opportunities in these experiences, embraced them, were grateful for them, and moved on? What if we encountered these experiences to develop our character?

What about those people in our lives who have negative attitudes? Is it possible to develop our character through our experiences with them? Many of us run screaming for the hills when we see 'em coming. I tend to wonder though, what happened to them that they now have such a negative attitude? What kind of adversity have they experienced? How resilient are they? Is there something we can learn from them or vice versa?

There are things that have been done to us in life (even in utero/before we were born); there are things we’ve done. Could it be those of us with negative attitudes are simply not yet able to respond in a more positive way? Possible to change someone else's negative attitude? Why not? Our brains can change. Modeling is probably the least invasive way to get a shift to occur. Of course, cognitive and emotional components have to be changed. A cognitive approach could be to challenge the behavior stemming from the attitude by providing new information-“What’s worked for me has been _______." Let's say you hear "I don't have enough time to do ______." Explain how you made time in your day to do _____, and share the results. Providing new information is one method that can change a person’s attitude and therefore their behavior. In regards to the emotional component, compassion goes a long way (think in the realm of empathy here, not sympathy)-

Compassion (includes the desire to help) and empathy (our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person) can develop the kind of trust needed for healthy relationships. Healthy relationships can be very influential (you'll set yourself up to be better listened to).

Attitudes are formed over a lifetime through agreement of values and beliefs during childhood years. They're influenced not only by family, religion, and culture but also by socioeconomic factors. Attitude transformation takes time, effort, and determination, but it can be done. Whether it’s your transformation or someone else's, it's important not to expect to change an attitude quickly.

May The Force be with YOU! :0)